I Didn't Want This
by Alex Warlorn
Summary: How does the character in Pokemon Crystal feel to all the attention she gets through out the adventure? Inspired by Farla's work.


I'm not a hero. I'm not a savior. I don't know why everyone keeps implying I am. I just do what anyone would do, right? I went after Silver when he stole that poor Pokemon from Professor Elm, like any decent person would do. I didn't want that poor Pokemon to grow up under the care of some guy who thought Pokemon were only for fighting, like they were weapons.   
I started collecting the badges so I wouldn't chance my Pokemon not listening to me during a fight with Sliver. I didn't intend to actually fight in the League. Or that's what I thought when I started out.   
I don't know when I consciously decided to try to go for the top. But when I was headed for Mahogany Town, some guy asked if I was setting out to become a Master. I said yes before I even thought about it. I still don't know I told him that. I guess by then the whole training thing had gotten into my blood. I guess that happens to anyone after they've been in something long enough, it's not like it's anything special, right?   
I remember after I had just barely won again Silver in Burnt Tower. Before I could try to get the Pokemon back he had kidnapped from Elm, I fell through the rotted floor screaming. I don't know how long I was out. All I knew was that everything hurt when I woke up.   
I remember seeing the status in the deep dark cave I had awoken in. I stepped onto the plato that supported the three stone beasts. I got the shock of my life as all three became living, breathing, creatures! The two on the right and left bounded off into the darkness. The middle one stayed. It leaped foreword. I was sure it was going to kill me. My Pokemon didn't have the strength to fight a Caterpee then. But it just circled me, gazing at me with those two ruby eyes, as if piercing my soul with them. Then it too, raced off into the darkness.   
  
Why didn't I try and take back the Pokemon Silver had stolen from Elm when we met at the League for our "last" battle?   
I saw the look in his eyes, and yes I am arrogant enough to think I can know someone from looking at their face, and I saw something I hadn't seen in them before, it was compassion. And from the way his Pokemon fought now, (yes I'm so pig headed I think I can tell a Pokemon's attitude by it's fighting style) they fought for him because they now cared for him, not because they feared him. I couldn't bear to do it.   
After I beat Red, I had already figured out I was too deep into Pokemon to give it up. I just kept raising my Pokemon the best I could. Happy ending right (?) I wish, but those only happen in fairy tales.   
Those monks keep telling me I'm the One to restore balance between humans and Pokemon. Don't they understand I just want to live my life? But it keeps eating at the back of my mind.   
If that wasn't bad enough, there are member of Clar's Dragon Clan who keep saying I'm a fraud, that I'm pretending to be the One to try and get my hands on the other Legendaries.   
I remember that look on Clar's face when I beat her. It wasn't a reorganization of my growing skills like Falkner. It wasn't even the surprise that had been on Chuck's face when I had put the load mouth's money where his face was. It was rage. Sheer anger. As if beating her was some unforgivable crime. I didn't understand. Wasn't that the whole point of a Gym Leader? To test trainers to see if they were worthy of gaining the Gym's Badge? To see if they could win?   
She told me to take 'the Test' in the Dragon's Den, and only if I passed would I get Blackthorn's Gym Badge. I didn't get it. I had done what I was supposed to do. Did she do this for every trainer that beat her? I asked her once what the point was, and she replied.   
"What's wrong? Is it too much for you?" That was it. I was going to do anything to get that patronizing smirk off her face.   
I entered Dragon's Den. It took me a while to find the building Clar had mentioned. The old man inside, when I mentioned Clar, sounded disappointed, but not surprised. He asked me some questions. I answered honestly, truthfully, like any person would do.   
I was surprised when he gave me Dratini, I mean, he had just met me! That was when Clar came barging in. I think she might have been listening. Well, maybe not, because then she wouldn't of been shocked when the old man told her I had passed. She said even she had not passed, who was I to pass? Who I was to 'guess' the right answers? I just answered what I believed. She was angry with me for that?   
I still think Clar would of preferred to give me a grenade rather than the Gym Badge, but she handed it over all the same. The old man said for her to learn from me, from me? I was just a kid! She was a Gym Leader. What could she have to learn from me? Compassion to Pokemon? But everyone knew that, except bad apples like Silver and the Rockets . . . right?   
One of the two attendants there said only Lance, (the same guy who had I had helped (he could of done it without me, easily) take out Team Rocket's evil force evolution machinery back at the Lake of Rage,) has also passed in quite some time.   
That was surprising. After all, I was an average, decent person; there wasn't anything special about me. Right?   
Apparently some of Clar's other family members were not amused I had dared beat her, that I had also, dare pass the test. And worst of all. I dared gain entry into Tin Tower.   
Stupid Bell! I wish it was never given to me! The good sound it makes the Monk said was a sign of the person carrying it. So I was allowed to pass. I had come there. So I had the will. The bell showed I had the soul. And the battle with the trio said I had the strength.   
Back to the Crystal Bell (heh, funny considering my name) for a minute, I tried to find someone who it made a nicer sound for, anything to prove the Monks I wasn't their One, and to please Clar and her friends, to prove to them I wasn't pretending to be the One. I didn't have any luck. I even gave it to Silver. Good sound. But not good enough! Dammit! I knew I wasn't perfect (!), but still a good person! But still . . . there was nothing uncommon about that right? At one point I started actually trying people at random, I gave to this blue and red haired pair at one point, the sound it made was UGLY, that was just before he tried to run off with it. I got it back from him, turns out they had taken my wallet and Poke' Gear too.   
Now Clar is saying the Bell proves nothing, it makes a nice or bad sound at random, no matter how much she gets proven otherwise. So I gave up on that.   
Back to Tin Tower, I entered, I saw the three beasts again, one of the Monks said that what I did was impossible back in Brass or Burnt Tower, I had seen them sleeping, some friend of mine on-line even said that he read somewhere they killed you if you disturbed them. Then why did they scatter? Where they scared of my Pokemon? Fat chance.   
As he/she/it fought my Pokemon, Suicune, that was who it was, I kept feeling something wasn't right. As the battle wore on it hit me, he wasn't fighting me at his all, he was holding back, but why? If he intended to kill me without harming my Pokemon, why not just by pass my Pokemon and just kill me with one quick blow? I caught him. Took everything I had and more. But I did it.   
The Monk said that perhaps the Legendaries were testing humanity through me. Me? What was so special about me? I just a normal decent person. There was nothing extra ordinary about me. Why not Red? Or Morty, he would die to get even a glimpse of Ho-Oh or any Legendary.   
Now it seems people's opinion of me, (that's the problem with beating Red, you become a public figure) are divided into three groups.   
There's one group who thinks I'm crazy for saying I care for my Pokemon, for saying that I feel for them, that I actually love them.   
Then, there are those who think like those monks, that I'm some Chosen One or something, destine to bring in a new age of fellowship between Pokemon and humans.   
And finally, Clar and co, they say I'm using group B's opinion of me to just gain power, that this all a game to me, I think they think I want to rule the world or something.   
I don't know what's worse. Those who keep trying to make me into something I'm not. Or those who keep saying I'm pretending to be something I'm not. Dammit! I didn't set out to be hero! You think I was planning to be a witness the near rebirth of Team Rocket? Do you think I planned to save a entire population of Slowbro from capture and the repeated torture of having their tails cut off, grown, cut off, and over and over? I just did what anyone would do! Kert is over fifty years old but that didn't stop him from trying to do what was right! But they don't think he has some hidden agenda! Did it ever occur to anyone, that sometimes, when someone ACTS good and decent, they ARE good and decent? And they aren't putting on a show for the world?!   
Why do I care what they think about me? I'm no one! I just want to live my life. I'm not a hero. I'm not crazy. I'm not evil! I'm not! They say truth hurts. Did it ever occur to them lies hurt too? Because my image, good or bad, it ends up being rubbed off on my friends and family.   
Maybe that's why I care.   
How am I supposed to show it? How am I supposed to show I care for my Pokemon? How am I supposed to show everyone I'm not in this for money, trills or fame? Dear Mew, Celebi, God, how . . . 

~Fin 

Thanks for the inspiration Farla. 

Flames, comments, reactions, suggestions, corrections, reviews good or bad, all welcome.   
    



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